Share Portfolio

The Maybe McQueen Blog

Beginnings and Endings with Life Times in between …. IS a favourite little book that, in the simplest way, explains the cycle of life and the different life times of all different living things.

For me death and accepting that loss is an important part of life, has been an incredible lesson in understanding that despite all the great things human beings are capable of, acceptance and trust, we fight tooth and nail to avoid and therefore often spend so much time going against the natural cycle of our life time.

So amazing friends, followers and silent readers, on this special day, I send you all you need to embrace where ever you are at in the cycle of your life time.

Nothing but love from the tender little Cubs and I, with a promise to write soon! xxx

  • Teresa

    Beautiful words and Inspirational thoughts as always Vashti. And thank little Jesse for my first big smile of the day” Get a good sleep!” He is so precious. What a wonderful ” mum” you are, in todays world with all the pressure… Parenting is already tuff enough, then ad in the loss of a beloved parent.. We are in awe of you amazing lady! You and the Cubs will be foremost in our thoughts today as we join Penny Marshall over on Facebook today along with some of the ” Sparty Fans” to help Celebrate Andy’s amazing life and the impact he had on all of us in the to short of time that he shared his
    Amazing gift of acting with all of us.
    As always Vashti, ” Thank you” for continuing to share so much of yourself, the Cubs and your insight into this one and only life we have.
    We all need more help in learning how to ” Be Here Now”. Much love and Respect from AZ.❤️❤️❤️

    • Penny Douglas

      So True Teresa! Jesse is just precious on this video. Oh my. I love it. Yes, I am hosting the Memorial for Andy today on our page, and honored to do so. Gratitude to all who are participating with us, not only on my page, but on many of the pages across Facebook. The love and tributes pouring in are just beautiful and special. Andy is being honored in a great big way! xoxo <3

  • Juliana Choe

    It is 8:30am in DC and have just finished watching your beautiful video! Thank you so much for sharing your gift of positivity and perspective on turning around circumstances that may not be part of the game plan. Thank you for consistently reminding us not to dwell on the negatives and use these curve balls to create something positive to help you be a stronger person.

    I so love seeing and hearing from JR! What an amazing little man. Thank you again for this thought provoking video full of wisdom. Sending you lots of love and well wishes to you and your extraordinary cubs!!!!!!!! XOXO

  • Beth F.

    I’m so glad I checked your page this morning. I was thinking of Andy, you, and the cubs on this day and saw your new video. As always, incredible words of wisdom and perspective from you which always helps put me everything in perspective! Listening to Jesse made me a little teary eyed, but in a good way. He’s so wise and mature for his age, thank you for including him in your video. It makes me realized how well he is doing overall.

    As for ‘Be Here Now’, it was a fantastic update from Lilibet. It’s up to Andy’s strong Army of supporters to come together once again and tweet, Facebook, and send messages any way we can to the upcoming film festivals that we want ‘Be Here Now’ documentary to be screened there! Once again, we can make it happen! Thank you for everything Vashti, and thinking of you and the cubs today x

  • Carolyjavi

    Thank you Vashti!! You are beautiful in all senses of the word!! It has been soooo amazing to see Jesse. You are an incredible mum and inspiration for us. As Jesse says always think positive and good things. Thank you again and tons of hugs from Spain

  • Miya

    I will make it simple but deeply thought and honest.Won t make you feel better during the hard times but:i love you.

  • Simon

    What an amazing video on what can’t be an easy day. You’re an inspiring family. Your words and actions have inspired me and help me grow and change through difficult times in helping my autistic son grow and keeping my own family together, happy and healthy. It’s your perspectives and support, through those words that mean so much. I hope you realise what it means to me.

  • Penny Douglas

    You and the littles are so on my mind. Thinking of you always with the utmost of love and admiration. xoxo Love you always, Penny <3 <3 <3

  • Backwards Hazel

    I too lost my husband Michael 3 years ago May 31, 2011. It was in a horrific accident when the pickup truck he was driving blew a tire and flipped multiple times. Our son was 7.5 then and we’d been high school sweethearts for 18 years. Now that it’s 3 years on for us as well, your vidoe today resonates so closely with me and my now nearly 11 year old son. The way you describe the little ones reactions of sadness and then recovery is identical to my childs. The way Jesse spoke is the same feelings my son shares. Every day is a new day and although I’m stuck some of those days in loneliness, I know I’m doing the best I can for my child and the husband that now watches over us would be proud. This journey of being here now is what I’ve concentrated my year on by helping others, learning new ways to be a dual parent and to be gentle with myself. So thank you for your video today and many blessings too you all. Xoxox
    Lezah Joseph

  • Margaret

    Thank you Vashti. You are my inspiration.

  • Mari

    How lovely to see you and Jesse! It’s so nice to hear from you both. Thanks for the very helpful reminder that life happens for us and not to us; thinking about things in that way really takes the victim feeling away. Good luck in this new year for you all. May it be filled with love, adventure and more lovely posts from you! :) xoxox

  • Ramonita

    I always enjoy hearing you speak Vashti! You’re always positive and uplifting! This time it was extra special seeing and hearing Jessie talk about his feelings!! Thank you, thank you, thank you for allowing us to be a part of your life!

  • Kell

    Great video. Thank you for sharing and what a wonderful inspiration you and your beautiful family are. :-)

  • Diggz Garza


    • Pam

      I still have my gorgeous Andy bracelet you sent me Diggz. I’ve worn it everyday since I received it Oct 2012 and people ask about it all the time. Thank you again…I cherish it xx

      • Diggz Garza

        I still have some, if u need more let me know

        • Pam

          Too kind…but the one I’ve had for 2 yrs now is fine. Still in great shape. Thank you…I appreciate the gracious offer.

        • Verdallh

          Dear Diggz, I would love to get one, I live in Cape Town South Africa, where can I get one.I myself am a Cancer survivor and would be proud to wear one.
          Much Love as usual to Vashti and her cubs, this message as inspirational as ever


          • Diggz Garza

            Are u on facebook? If so look me up, Diggz Garza and message me ur address

          • Verdallh

            Hi Diggz, I have inboxed u on facebook look out for my message and thanx again for wanting to send me my own Andy bracelet , gratitude

      • Serena Fanti

        Where can I purchase that bracelet ?

        • Pam

          It was a birthday gift from Diggz 2 years ago Serena. Diggz can you help Serena out with this? It’s a yellow cancer bracelet that says RIP Champion 10/17/71 – 9/11/11 with little butterflies on it. To me it has great meaning as I’ve had my share of losses to this illness. My Mom who lost her battle to breast cancer, Favorite Uncle Roger who lost his to lung cancer, my Dad and hero who was a survivor of Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, and my sons father and love of my life who lost his battle with Leukemia and my sister Sandra who is a survivor of Thyroid Cancer as well as friends of mine…and of course for Andy who’s personal battle touched me to my very core. So I wear it for all the Champions who fought so valiantly…and continue to do so.

  • Adam

    I just finished watching Spartacus again and was struck by the fact it’s three years now. I’ve been there myself, I had cancer but got thru it, I was 23 and it was 20 years ago, totally feel for you and the kids, my kids are still small and i’m not sure how they’d cope. anyway, all the best to you ad the kids, cherish what you have and what you had.

  • Pam

    As always heartfelt, powerful and poignant…and Jesse wise beyond his years and so sweet. Thinking of you and your cubs Vashti…with love xx

  • Lena Lubrano

    Very inspirational and moving. I loved seeing little Jesse who got so big and beautiful and looks just like Andy! Stunning! RIP Andy, forever in my heart <3

  • Maria Claudia Ventur


    When death comes with its baggage of mysteries, brings together divergences and inquiries. After all, when the eyes close to the light, the heart silences and breathing ceases, have died along the human essence? Materialists deny the continuation of life. But the spiritualists say yes, life continues beyond the grave. And they are right. There is life after death. Full life, vibrant, charming. Proof of this? The evidence is available to all who want to see them. Just look at the face of a loved one who passed away and we will clearly see that something is missing: the soul is no longer over there. The Spirit left the body made of nerves, blood, bones and muscles. Increased to different, mysterious regions where the laws that prevail are those created by God. How can we believe that we are a bunch of cells, within us stirs up a universe of thoughts and feelings? Not. We will not die with the body. The body returns to nature – the earth will refund the elements that we receive – but the Spirit will never end. Live forever in this different dimensions. We are immortal. The breath that animates us is not quenched at the touch of death. Proof of this is the message of renewal that we see everywhere. Or have you ever noticed the delicate flowers are born on the graves? It is the silent message of nature, announcing the continuity of life. To one who sought to live ethically and with love, death is just the end of a cycle. The ride home. With pacified conscience, the heart in the party, the man closes his eyes and the physical body and opens the windows of the soul. On the other side of life, the crowd loved ones awaits. Parents, siblings, children or grandparents – no matter. The relatives and friends who died before will be there to warm hugs, kisses longing, smiles reunion. On that day, tears can water the soil from splashing up graves and flowers, but there will be happiness for what is gone in peace. He’ll discover a new world long forgotten. Discover who is loved and experience a powerful and contagious love: the love of God. After that moment his eyes closed in the material body, a voice will echo in the soul that has just left the earth. And say, smooth, Come, be welcome back to your house. Death has earned considerations of all kinds, along the man stay on Earth. It is inevitable organic phenomenon because the Divine Law prescribes that everything that is born, dies. Death is not the end of it, but the timing of resumption. Think about it.

    • Lizl

      Hello Maria,(sorry my english is not very good, I say it in dutch) eergisteren las ik je bericht, en het bleef maar rondspoken in mijn gedachten, wat jij hier omschrijft, kan ik mij erg in vinden. Alleen gevoelsmatig is het soms moeilijk te aanvaarden. En toch ben ik van overtuigd zolang je een dierbare herrinnerd en niet vergeet, is hij of zij niet dood. Ik geloof dat een dierbare naar een vredige plek gaat, of het nou de hemel is of iets anders… blijft een mysterie! Geweldige gave heb je, om zo je gedachtes te verwoorden.

      • Maria Cláudia Boaventura

        Beste Liz, niet te geloven dat het leven alleen maar wat we weten !!! al was het maar dat God heel oneerlijk om zoveel te zo weinig en weinig voor anderen te geven zou zijn !!! Ik denk dat we in dit leven om te leren en te evolueren en komen terug in een andere vorm van verbeteren !!! onze geliefden geesten zijn oude vrienden !!! onze geest is eeuwig en ons aardse lichaam is als een huis, elke keer als we evolueren verhuisd naar een beter huis, en deze evolutie is alleen mogelijk door middel van liefdadigheid !!! Als u geïnteresseerd bent om meer uitstraling boeken geschreven door Chico Xavier weet zijn, en als je vragen hebt ik ben hier !!!! een !!! knuffel

        • Lizl

          Je bedoelt eigenlijk dat we reincarneren. Ik geloof zelf daar niet in, misschien komt het door mijn katholieke achtergrond. Waar ik wel in geloof is alles wat ik meemaak, de mooie dingen, zowel de slechte dingen van het leven, de ups en de downs, ervaar ik als een leer proces, dat maakt mij wie ik ben. Ook geloof ik dat er een hiernamaals is,het eeuwige leven. Wat jij zo mooi omschrijft, het stoffelijke keert terug naar de basis en mijn ziel gaat verder. Wanneer ik het even niet meer weet, ga ik naar een heel mystieke plek, een maria kappelletje in mijn omgeving. Elke keer als ik daar kom ervaar ik bijzondere momenten. Het is vaak die kleine “wondertjes” die het leven aangenaam maken! Ik wens je alles goeds toe, liefs

  • Serena Fanti

    Amazing and beautiful words you as a life coach know how to survive with the lost of Andy . Such as your son Jesse does . Sometimes children who loose a member of their family are more adult and more genuine then someone else who has both of his parents . So Jesse will be a nice man . His behavior is Andy’s .
    He lives in his son .

  • Susan_Mangan

    Where does the time go ? love to u all today xx and thanx for a beautiful inspiring piece. Lovely to hear ur voice jesse, and the wise words that come with it xx.

  • Rich

    It’s difficult to describe your situation now as anything other than a journey of discovery. To lose Andy must have been devastating for you all, but when we hear what you’ve been doing and listen to Jesse talk about his life now, my first instinct is to smile. The experiences we have shape our beliefs and play a part in forming us into the people we are, and it’s clear to see from this video that you haven’t wallowed in your pain, but have embraced the experience of living your lives without Andy.
    Andy’s message: ‘Be Here Now’ is more relevant here than ever and I try to live it – even for just a few minutes – everyday. I believe our spirituality helps guide us through life, but only when we live in the ‘now’ do we actually here that guiding voice. We spend so much time worrying about the future and living in the past, that we all too easily forget to simply – Be Here Now.
    What happened to you all was so very sad, but I can say with all certainty that none of you would be exactly as you are today if it hadn’t happened.
    I look forward to hearing more about your Journey.

  • Mary

    Hello Vashti, i am sitting here in Sept. of 2014, in front of my husband’s computer – totally stunned and shocked. all i wanted to do was to find how i could watch ‘Spartacus’ on this machine, since the coming year brings so many distractions away from the TV, and it looked like there were going to be more episodes, and i love that time period in Rome, and i finally was able to ignore the blood, just so i could watch your husband, who is so tremendously expert in bringing that character to life, that you HAVE to see what happens next time———and i come to find that the one person that made it worth watching – is – not – there.
    i was so glad to find you and your fierce loving strength and beautiful words ( so easy to see how much he loves you ), and to see the children, your son looking so much like his father and so wise in his grief.
    in 1972, the 2nd of my 5 sons died of Leukemia, after 18 months of terrible pain and suffering. he was almost 9 years old. i couldn’t even spell that disease, i had no idea where it came from, and no one knew what to do for it. his baby brother was born just in time for the cord blood procedure – but of course, that was 1972 and no one knew about that then. i kicked and screamed and fought with all i had, and at the end, he died before i could get to the hospital, because i know now, he was tired of fighting and he knew i would keep asking. i was stunned. but i knew that i couldn’t let his brothers think that they were not as loved as he was, if i mourned over-much for him, so i did the best i could to go on. his brothers are like Jesse now, with families of their own, and wise and kind in their long-ago yet ever-remembered grief. we still all go to Santa Cruz for his birthday every year ( he always looked longingly down the other side of the road to the beach the times we had to go the other way -to Stanford- and face doctors and pain.)
    in Dec. of 2012, 40 years later, after 2 weeks in the hospital, my husband suddenly died. he had had prostate cancer 12 years before, but in those 2 weeks, all kinds of cancers invaded his whole body from out of nowhere and no one knew how to stop them. i did not hold on this time, because i had slowly realized in those years that heaven is not a place ( how can it be heaven if you have to go away from all those you love and want to be with ???) but it is a state of being, and you can be where you want – with those you love. so i tell them, you can’t see your Dad with your eyes – so look with the eyes of your heart – and don’t forget to talk to him just because he doesn’t have his body on !!!
    so, i thank you for being the you that your husband loves so much, and helping us as you helped him, ( BeHereNow) and i can see him by your side as you live your life, raising your children so well, being always so terribly proud of his beautiful amazing wife.
    i don’t know whether i can watch ‘Spartacus’ anymore – but i can remember what it was like to be ‘there’, and i know some day we will all be together again.

  • Sofia

    Thanks for sharing – great words of wisdom to help me put one foot in front of the either whilst I navigate through the pain of losing my Dad. X

  • Gina Thompson

    So hard to believe it’s been 3 years already…….still miss him like it was yesterday…..

  • Jude Go-Mez

    Thank you so much for sharing your gift of positivity, you are a amazing lady!

  • Naty

    Gracias por compartir con nosotros tus experiencias. Por tener la fuerza para superar algo tan duro y darnos una enseñanza y dejarnos entrar en tu vida. Thank you !! You are very special. From Uruguay! Naty

  • Guest

    Love Life And Life Will Love You Back

  • Guest

    You’re Inspiration.

  • Lizl

    I got lost in the maze of life and can not find the exit.(grief and loss of a loved one) But as soon as I come on your blog and hear your wise words, I feel comforted by your insights and give me handles to find my path. I find you a very special woman, strong en brave!! A dear friend on a distance. Thank you for sharing your video. Love and wishes to you and your cubs!! Liesbeth

  • Susan Hands

    Dear Vashti and Cubs, I watched with great enthusiasm the first series of Spartacus and found myself enthralled by the acting and story-line but mostly your beautiful husband Andy’s gentleness of Spirit that shone through. Andy made watching Spartacus, in all it’s gore and gruesomeness, worth the odd shocking scene. I researched Andy on the Internet and learned more about him and you and your family. When the news was released that Andy was ill, I was sad but hopeful. When he was well again, I rejoiced because he was ‘too young to die’. When the tragic news broke that Andy had lost his fight with this heinous disease, I actually cried. For him, for you, for your ‘cubs’.
    The sadness and heavy heart I felt was unexpected but as little as I knew of Andy, his death affected me. I cannot imagine the loss you and the Cubs felt and still feel.
    Thank you for your Blog and giving me the chance to get to ‘know’ you better and to express my thanks for Andy’s life on film so I could at least see a little of that lovely man that you had the great joy of sharing your life and children with. Vashti, Bless you and the Cubs and may you receive every good thing in life you strive for.

  • Doug Roberts

    This is overlooking the Haleakala Crater in Maui last June (though they say it’s now an erosional valley and no longer a true crater). I wear the leather band more often than not
    now and feel it missing when I don’t. A good reminder, always, to trust that events are transpiring as they’re supposed to and not get too caught up in the past or future. I took this trip with just my son; he’s 20-years old and I was feeling somewhat distant and detached from him. So, some “guy” time. We biked down from here, went zip lining, had longer talks rather than just snippets of conversations, and enjoyed just spending time together near the ocean and balmy breezes. I was between jobs and both of us were figuring out our next steps, so it was a chance to take a breath and just be.

    I don’t remember how I found the KickStarter campaign, but am happy that I did in that it led me to your site and your insightful, thoughtful blogs. I’m looking forward to watching the finished documentary. Andy was a remarkable actor; truly the reason I watched more than just the first episode of “Spartacus” and missed once the series started up again. Thank you for reaching out to all of us and keeping us updated on your journey. I wish you and your cubs nothing but the best.


  • Mari

    It’s been three months on… any news from down under? We miss you bare all blogger! xox

  • samira

    You are such a beautiful spirit, thank you..

© 2017 MaybeMcQueen | All Rights Reserved