As I ran the soft sand beside yet another incredible Bondi sunrise, panting somewhat like a small Staffordshire Bull Terrier, I found myself caught in a thought and wonderfully lost in the reflection of yet another significant date and day in my life.
As my toes sank into the sand and I waved for the hundredth time to a familiar face, one I’ve run past for much of my adult life, I thought back to the night before and the brilliant synchronicity and alignment of just who was floating around town on this very special day: my thirteenth wedding anniversary and the sixteenth year since Andy and I began our epic journey together.
….As I sat at the table, I savoured the buzz of a family unexpectedly and raucously reuniting for an impromptu dinner with their creative force of a son who had flown home to honour his work commitments and sink his toes into a moment of Sydney grounded-ness. I watched as my beautiful son, with the face of a man and the gentle heart of a soul who is wise beyond his years, tentatively scan the landscape surrounding him. And as I observed these two young pups, both men of different ages, eyes transfixed, trying ever so tenderly to honour the very unexpected roles passed on to each of them with the departure of a father, a son and a friend, I found myself on Dec 1, 2014, my wedding anniversary of thirteen years, brimming with the most tremendous sense of pride, insight and just enormous gratitude for the seeing, feeling and hearing of the legacy living on in front of me .
As I removed myself from their conversation in an attempt to feel more than to think, I found myself filled with the most amazing sense of clarity. And as I watched these two young men of vastly different ages try so hard to support each other after having been so unexpectedly thrown into a pivotal role that will enable the other to thrive, I thought yet again of just how remarkable life and loss really are. That is, if you are willing to openly accept that everything is as it is and all that it can be.
As I walked through the door, home from the beach, my phone rang. Her little voice shook with tenderness and I was filled with an overwhelming desire to hold this beautiful woman and loving mummy in my deepest embrace, as she selflessly and vulnerably wished me ‘happy anniversary.’
“It’s a sad day but a good day,” she said.
It was a good day.
Thank you beautiful Andy for all that you were, all that you are and all that you always will be, for anyone lucky enough to have had you flutter into their lives. And thank you magnificent Australia for the sixteen year love affair that is still going strong.