A love filled with life and a life filled with ….love

By On · 40 Comments · In blog

Today is my 14th year in this wonderful country that is Australia. Its sky’s, oceans and sandy shores have facilitated the most crazy journey of self discovery, an unforgettable love affair, a tiny little wedding in a book store, beside the beach, between two young lovers 11 years ago today and the births and death of 3 incredible lives, that will shape who I am forever…

I crept into bed last night with a little tear rolling down my cheek, knowing that I would wake on December the 1st, my favorite day of the year, without the other half of me, the man who made this adventure complete. But as I woke today I realised as always, after my wave of sadness had landed on the shore, that it is only just the beginning and that to honour beautiful Andy and ALL those whose time here just wasn’t long enough, there is so much to be lived, loved and lost all over again, if we are to REALLY ride this magnificent madness, that is the roller coaster of life!

 The little note above was written in the front of a book, all about New York, after 9/11, which Andy and I found ourselves extraordinarily caught in the middle of. This is one of the many little messages shared between the 2 of us, in one of the many, many books we bought for each other to celebrate life.

To my beautiful man and the shores of sunny Sydney, a place and space that will always, always be the love of my life…

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  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000203917220 Norbert Süss

    God blees you, Vashti! You and your amazing man really changed the planet a little bit, being an inspiration for so many people all over the world. Thank you once again for being here now…Lots of hugs xxx

  • Sally T.

    Sending you so much love: from me to you, from my family to yours. xo

  • Alexiscarril

    Tears are flowing – I needed that!

  • Susana Matos Nunes

    What can we say or do?! Life can be a bitch sometimes, but it give us so much good things on others!…
    Want to wish for you a special day full of sun, warm, colour and LIFE!
    About “change the planet”… You had already done that somehow! You changed his planet, he changed yours, you both difinatly changed the planet puting on it two unique people, he had with no doubt changed many people planet, and looking around to the MMQ community you had changed many planets too ;0), somehow with Andy too!
    Stay with a big and tye hug, and a sweet kiss
    Susana

  • Claire Abbott

    Beautifully written as always & instantly inspiring.

    You have both changed the world & the people living in it.

    Vashti, you have amazed me in so many ways, from your strength to your wisdom & lots of things in the middle.

    Wishing you sunshine & smiles on your special day. Sending lots of love from my family to yours xx

  • Kristin

    I love how Andy addressed you as his “beautiful wife”. So touching and very sweet. The connection between you two…incredibly rare. I love your outlook and the choice you make to honor him with truly living your life.

  • Mindy B

    Wishing you a beautiful day, may the birds song and suns rays warm your heart.

  • Susan_Mangan

    I know my little part of the planet is better because of you both.

    Happy, happy anniversary!.  Wishing you a day filled with everything that makes you smile. xx

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001288193910 Just Jennifer Boisvert

    Happy Anniversary and a Happy Life ahead of you. you are the source of inspiration for sooooooo many–yes, little ol’ you! Thank you for always sharing a piece of your heart with us Vashti. And to make things fair–here’s a little piece of mine to share with you right back. We love you so much, and just thank you, for being you. <3

  • Malin

    My letter to Andy:” ……  in life and even after your death you changed the world much more than a little bit !  Some people are send from above to do exactly what you did, what you both did in past and in future. You reached and reach so many people, you encourage them to be different, to raise a “higher” awarness for themself and their environment.
    After I “met” all this beautiful people in this blog,I believe, more than ever before, that it will be possible to change the world a little bit, may be more than just only “a little bit .”
    Thank you, Vashti !

    Malin

  • SS6HRD

    What a beautifully sentimental post Vashti. Your rememberance of your anniversary had me in years. It reminds me to cherish my love ones while we are still here and never tame them for granted.

    Susan xx

  • Kristi Hayes

    “When those you love die, the best you can do is honor their spirit for as long as you live. You make a commitment that you’re going to take whatever lesson that person or animal was trying to teach you, and you make it true in your own life… it’s a positive way to keep their spirit alive in the world, by keeping it alive in yourself.” ― Patrick Swayze, The Time of My Life 
    I enjoy your blog. I read this quote and thought of you. The stories you share are inspirational. They warm my heart. Thanks for making my world better.

  • Lan

    Vashti and Andy; you have changed the planet more than a just a little bit!  Getting to know you both have made my planet better everyday and I thank you for continuing to inspire, encourage and fascinate me through your writings and your creativity.  You are an amazing person and your love for one another is truly one of a kind! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing and Happy Anniversary!  Lots of love to you and your littles.

  • Rivke

    Happy Anniversary!!
    We are very much thankful that you ended up here on our shores.

    Blessed Be!

  • Karen Geiger

    So beautiful and as always very inspirational …. changing the planet and people’s lives one blog at a time!!  I hope you have a blessed day.

  • Simona

    A beautiful fable of love that will never end ..two fascinating people ….in love with life ….you have shared the essence of love …what remains is an unbreakable bond over time ….a time and a place unforgettable …how many wonderful memories …Happy Anniversary Vashti and Andy(how many tears reading it)a hug!
    Simona

  • Queen.

    Simply beautiful!. Happy anniversary V and as always thanks for sharing. Oh and Andy’s handwriting and words to you are so lovely!.

  • michelbarreau

    bon anniversaire vashti pour vos 14ans de sydney comme toujours vous faites passer de tres beaux messages d amour mais sachez que andy a fait passer aussi un tres beau message dans le monde  c est pourquoi vous faites partie vous et vos enfants de notre vie.Je vous souhaite tellement de bonheur ansi qu a vos petits amours .Gros bisous de france

  • Serenina F89

    God bless Andy Whitfield and your extraordinary love.
    You were soulmate, soulmate, soulmate, soulmate, you were epic , you had a love divine.
    Never forget it. Keep celebrate your husband who  is for sure watching you from the above and sending you some messages.

    Happy Anniversary and Happy beginning of December!

    Love you

    Serena 

  • Elena Ferro

    Oh, Vashti, how beautiful note, beautiful words, beautiful feelings and beautiful thoughts you both had.

    You’re so lucky to have had all of this… and still you have!!! And you share!!!

    We’re so lucky to have you that teach us all of this… 

    Millones de gracias, Vashti!!!

    Btw: which book was that????

  • Camelia Miron Skiba

    Vashti,

    Wherever that butterfly of yours spreads his wings  today I’m sure he wishes you  strength to go on without him and courage to heal and move on one day. Thank you for inspiring all of us to be better and to want better. Lots of love to you and yours! 

  • Madeleine

    Ahhh that is such a gorgeous note.  Happy Anniversary Vashti and Andy! ……if you two had never connected on that glorious enounter at the gym, we would have never been blessed with all your marvelous gifts!  many blessings to you and your littles.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=818507821 Patricia J Tibbits

    Dearest Vashti, I hope this poem gives you comfort. I thought of it in the wake of yours & Andy’s love & Anniversary. This is from my heart, to you & Andy. With love & graditude, Patti xx

    I gave it to you from the start, it was my one and only heart, pure, beautiful and true, the only one it wanted was you…I wrote your name in the sky but the wind blew it away, I wrote your name in the sand but the waves washed it away, I wrote your name in my heart and forever it will stay. You are every reason, every hope, every dream I’ve ever had. Every day we were together was the best day’s of my life. I miss you every day, your smile, your laugh, the silly things you’d do. Not a day passes, I don’t think of you…No matter the distance between us, I am as close to you today as I was the yesterday’s, for as long as you are in my heart, we are never truly far apart. I remember your last breath, and I remember what I heard, It was God whispering in my ear “I need another star in the sky” so while looking up at the sky, knowing you are looking back down…It fills my heart with joy, knowing you are there from afar and that I will always love you & miss you, forever my butterfly. Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

    • http://twitter.com/dayofwinenroses Bob Boissoin

      Patti, the poem is beautiful and means a lot to me. I lost my wife to cancer at age 51 and each sentence brings back a memory. Thank you.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=818507821 Patricia J Tibbits

        Thank you Bob. I am so sorry to hear about you wife. I loss many family & friends as well. This is what I love about Vashti’s MMQ blog, it brings us together, in a kind, unique way. It allows us to share our thoughts & advive & to give each other moral support. Blessings to you Bob, Patti x

  • Julio Rodríguez

    My younger son was born on the 1st december. This day has been special for me since then, and now, because of you, it will be more special for me. Thanks!

  • Tleefent

    Hi Vashti, I did not know what the day was for you. Such a beautiful note to always have with you. You are truly an inspiration. Christmas is almost here and the whole season is my favorite time of year. I always love the way the air smells and the sense of joy and laughter, and excitement that comes with the season. As I write this tears are streaming down my face as I am reminded what a gorgeous soulfAndy was and as I am trying to get through my first Christmas without my parents. The excitement I normally feel just isn’t there this year and I am trying to capture it but it just hasn’t come. I’m putting up the decor but missing them so. I have no kids or husband so feeling like a bit of an orphan and feeling so empty without them. But it really helps to read your words and I wanted you to know I’m really trying to honor them, not be sad, and find a way to just be happy knowing where they are and that their pain is gone and they are together. Perhaps they will see Andy and meet him. Thank you for sharing your lovely words and the letter. You really had something special with Andy. I miss him….but I knw it is not the same of course. Have a wonderful holiday season. God bless you!

  • Irenemahon

    oh vashti ..how awesome the note from andy ….he was and always will be the love of your life …..yours is a wonderful journey for you and andy it was tragic it had to end ……but in your heart he will always be there …look into your babies eyes you will see andy ….and feel the love you shared my heart still goes out to you and it makes me so so sad ….sowhen your sitting on the beach with your toe s in the sand ..andy will be right there with you …….you will feel him so close he s breath on the breeze …….whispering that he loves you …….he s amazing lady and wife and life long soulmate…….big hugs mumma bear ……xxxxxxxx

  • Phut Baccam

    Hello Vashti! It is a pleasure and I am excited to have a chance to write to you and share some of my thoughts of the last couple of weeks!

    Let me start by saying that my wonderful husband had borrowed Spartacus from my sisters fiance and started watching the series the week of Thanksgiving which was a couple of weeks ago. I have never been too interested in watching those types of shows or movies but this show immediately caught my attention and I think you know why!

    Andy is the most beautiful man I have ever seen, not to mention he was also beautiful on the inside! I immediately fell in love with the show and with Andy. We ended up watching at least half of the first season by the end of our long weekend off.

    One night we were in the store and my husband said that he had bad news for me…he had told me that he was looking up details of the second season of Spartacus and saw that Andy had passed! I was and still am completely devastated to hear of the news!

    We have since purchased Spartacus on Blue-ray and I saw that they are still working on the documentary Be Here Now which I can’t wait to see! I wasn’t sure if they still acccepted donations or of how to help but would really like to do something even if it’s just a little bit.

    I have been so inspired by Andy and by you Vashti. I don’t know how you stay so strong but I really admire that. I don’t know if I would be as strong as you if I lost my husband or my 16 month old son.

    I shed a few tears just reading this blog and seeing Andy’s note to you. I’ve commented to my husband that it would be a dream to visit Australia and possibly visit Andy’s gravesite.

    Thank you for being an inspiration to everyone and Happy Anniversary to you and Andy!

  • Anna Reichow

    beautiful letter, thank you for sharing. Happy Anniversary! And may I just say on a side note, Andy has the most beautiful handwriting I think I’ve ever seen. Did you make him write on all the cards and write all letters to people like I would have done? lol I have chicken scratch.

  • Alex Warren

    hi vashti. what was the book ?

  • Gholbrook

    Precious, precious, precious!  There is nothing on this planet like the LOVE shared between a husband and wife.  It is holy and in and of itself, changes the planet because it is filled with truth and it is eternal.  I thought of you both the other day as I drove through the Sierra Nevada’s listening to a song by Steven Curtis Chapman called JOY!  May you be filled to overflowing with the JOY that Andy and you both shared and share even still, though now through a glass…one of these days, face to face!  All my love…a soul sister in Lake Tahoe, CA.

    • Gholbrook

      Vashti…the song was called Christmas Card. Give it a listen on iTunes. I think of you and Andy whenever I hear it! Love!!!

  • Vicki Farine

    Beautifully written and and taken to heart because You & Andy have made a difference in a lot of lives. Happy Anniversary & much love to you & the kiddos!

  • sandra james

    I read this and i would normally say something..but today it has taken my breath away..x

  • Elena

    “Andy Monkey…” what more????

    All the love to you, Vashti, for sharing this with us!

  • Heather

    What a beautiful note and a treasure to hold as a memory.  You have passed on his kindness already, making changes in the world.  Thank you for sharing :)  

  • Jadeoshay

    No wonder a man like him loved a women like you. I often thought how lucky you were to have n hold such a beautiful man like Andy… I now think after exploring your blog that I have made a mistake. He was the lucky one to have you before, during n after. And he knew it.It is a love story. One that leaves me intrigued and inspired for my young life and that of my children n husband. Thanku for your straight talking and honesty. It’s a breath of fresh air from all the bullshit. I’m greatful I found you.

  • poet

    words cant do you justice……

  • bellavita

    may god bless you ad ur little ones..your husbands death has affected many of us..even tho i didnt know him personally, (being a fan from sparticus)..hiss loss saddens me, and i pray god helps you and your family thru this. the feeling of emptyness never goes away, but out of all the people in this world,god chose you to be by his side, and in a way thats a blessing…and i know he is forever looking over you and your cubs..with his angel wings around you guys.