For the last 10 days, I have felt a slight tickle, almost a kiss on my cheek, as that all too familiar breeze of the swing door, ( see Swing Door previous post) that opens and closes life as we know it, gently brushes up against me. Its presence leaning in, just hard enough to have my heart lurch into an ache, my thoughts into a longing for the past and my desire to celebrate life, an unfathomable commitment that steers my every day.
On the 13th of October 2007 my beautiful friend Emma passed away, leaving her husband and 2 gorgeous little lovelies, who I have the wonderful privilege to call my godchildren, far behind. As she exited the world, with a little high five as they passed each other on the way, so also began another journey, of a different kind, as my little girl, decided it high time, that she enter into the world.
As I birthed little Indi, there were two other people in the room, my beautiful Andy and my sister -like friend, who would soon not only become Godmother to little Indigo Sky, but also 2 years later, unexpectedly and rather wonderfully, the new partner, parent and matriarch, to my gorgeous god children and Emma’s husband, whose heart was in need of great woman with the capacity to LOVE through dark walls of grief.
Today is our beautiful Andy’s birthday. It is also 5 years since my lovely friend left and 5 years since my baby girl arrived and as a perfect gift from the universe to teach us all that life and its comings and goings, is simply bigger than we can ever understand and just as futile wishing it could be a different way, I have also found out that my beautiful friend is pregnant and that my two godchildren will grow from two to three and their once broken little hearts will burst full again, with the wonderful beat that is a new life.
Before Emma left, just as Andy promised a butterfly, she made sure to tell her girls that whilst not being there to hold them, her spirit would be there in the shape and scent of the Jasmine flower. This morning as I stepped onto my deck, the Jasmine buds that have been closed tight for weeks, have finally exploded into a sea of white and a scent of something that words cannot begin to describe and fluttering all around, amidst a chorus of ‘ Hi Dad!’ from an excited Jesse Red and delighted little Indigo Sky, are a ballet of butterflies and a passionate presence from a man that is not so very far away.
So today we shall celebrate LIFE, its comings and goings, beginnings and endings and everything that comes in between….. My love to you all …