Share Portfolio

The Maybe McQueen Blog


I am sitting watching the sunrise on the balcony of the house where Andy, my late husband spent most of his young life and a place, that over the last 17 years, I have become accustomed to calling home. On either side of me in different rooms, gently sleep three generations of Whitfield’s, who’s similarities and features boast a tender legacy of love.

It’s quite strange to think about time in the context of Andy’s absence. Or to comment on how long it takes to re adjust to life without the person or people, who not only played such a significant role in your life, but who made living and loving, such a wild and wonderful collaboration of adventure.

Some days it feels like forever and others, as though he was here last week. But it is in fact four whole years since letting him go, or somewhere close to that, as even with three world clocks, my Australian jet lag renders me incapable of working out what day, time, or date it actually is and in the calm serenity of this little island, without a concerted effort to open up one form or another of my Apple technology, I am contently and refreshingly enjoying the moment of now and the lives of those going on all around me.

Life moves on and whilst the love is still so very much there, nestled safely on a ledge in my heart, that I now only occasionally climb onto, when there is a need to look back and remind myself from where I once came, my focus now very much lives, in the now and the how, of what it takes to inspire a perspective of possibility.

So to you beautiful people, I share with you as always all I have to offer and in my sleep deprived haze invite you whole heartedly to take a good old look at who you have become in your life so far and to make sure, that you are wonderfully and clumsily, slowly shaping a legacy worthy of ALL THAT YOU ARE!

Press play and patiently wait a moment to hear the anniversary audio message…


  • gisele

    Beautiful words vashti , you are always in my heart ❤,I always think in Andy,you and your little cubs. I send you a big hug from Argentina 🌺

  • BlondeSparkle

    Beautiful. Thank you so much for these moving words. Love.

  • Susan Mangan

    Gorgeous words lady! can’t believe four years have passed. I’m sure he’s close by and immensely proud of all of you. Much love to you all today xx

  • Dawn-Marie Duncan

    Love to you and the Whole Whitfield clan….. Sending you a ton of love and hugs.

  • Anthony Sobarzo

    Muy lindas palabras Vashti….. te envío muchos abrazos y amor para tu familia.

  • Laura Santana

    Gratitude Vashti for your lovely words, Lovely Lady. Your spirit and energy are inspirational and heartwarming. Your Beautiful Andy inspired and united so many. He will forever be in our hearts. Thank you for sharing him with us. We are honored to embrace you and your gorgeous children as family. Bless you today and always. Love Laura XO

  • Shelly DiPhillipo

    Thank you Vashti for that moving testament of love and encouragement of change to come. May you and yours be forever at peace. Best wishes, Shelly

  • Rieke

    I just wanted to let you know, how much your messages helped me in the last year’s! Lost my brother 5 years ago and your words of struggle, hope and your lovely way of sharing your thoughts really touched me. Wishing you and your little ones all the best from the bottom of my heart. Rieke

  • Tracy Summers

    My heart breaks for you. You have taught me, from afar, how true love can last forever.
    Your beautiful children, keep him with you forever. Thank you for letting us all be a part of your Neverending love. XO Tracy

  • Edna

    eterno Andy , Deus escolhe os melhores pra estar ao seu lado

  • lucyfr

    Your posts are really hitting home right now!! You so kindly contacted me to help in my existential crisis and your words and example echoed round my head for a long time… I got up and dropped my old life, found a new job and place to live, went forth with my relationship into stability and conquered my fear of life. I am living right in the moment its a beautiful place to be!!! I don’t fear life or death… Thank you for being a homing beacon to all the lost souls :) xxx

  • Juliana Choe

    You are my beacon of light…consistently helping me refocus and see what is truly important in my life when I get stuck in the minutia and trivial nonsense that hinders me from moving forward. Thank you for helping me put things in proper perspective so that I can be the best version of me :-) Sending lots of love to you and your gorgeous cubs!!

  • Laz

    Always your words are so inspiring .Andy was your soul mate and its lovely how you honor him .thank you for sharing with us that part of you journey lots of loves 💜💜💙

  • Karina Marques

    Hard to believe it’s been four years with the absence of Andy. Wonderful message, as always showing how life can still be beautiful. I am currently going through a time of transition in my life and their messages have helped me a lot. Thank you Vashit not only keep the memory of Andy alive but also show us the importance of the legacy he left and how much power their messages and courage has helped many people. That your weekend is full of peace. A kiss.

  • Pamela Horowitz

    tis a gift
    that gives
    to all
    that lingers
    lives so bright

    to all that
    is the light
    is the sight
    that is two
    that is both
    he and you
    becoming four

    living, loving, laughing
    in all ways

    fourever souls
    to Glow

  • Paha Amelin

    I admire you, a great lovely woman!

  • Paha Amelin

    I will always remember Andy, from Russia with love

  • thank you

    Hi Vashti, I’ve just finished watching your documentary on your late husband Andy. From Canada both my fiancée and I were huge fans of spartacus when it came out and like many almost didn’t continue watching after the discovery of Andy’s passing.. . he was that great. Now after tears and a shower I’ve found you and just wanted to say thank you so much for giving the world that footage and amazing documentary it really put things into perspective for me. I pray that you and your beautiful children ( your son is his twin!) are doing well and healing. Thank you again I’ve never done this what I just watched on Netflix really gave me life.

  • Kevin Walsh

    F*ck me , your a strong woman !!!!!!

  • Michael McDonald

    Being a night-shift worker, I’m often alone in the nighttime during the weekend. It was during these solitary hours that I viewed ‘Be Here Now’, and my soul is simultaneously enveloped within the spectrum of emotions from joy to sorrow. Thank you, Ms. Whitfield, for choosing to share the part of your life on display in this most excellent film.
    I came to your blog from a link in a May, 2016 Daily Mail article.

  • Li Lucy

    I just watch Here and now, and cannot express condolences even so many years after his pass, your story is such a powerful lesson, one that no one wants to learn, but inevitable, wishing you the of all in this life till you both meet again.

  • Agata


  • Michael Nguyen

    Its amazing how the film showcased not only Andy’s journey but also your own. From being a meticulous manager, planning, busily working and getting things done and very future orientated achieving goals everyday, always running everyday. To someone who embraces the present, slowed down their pace, reaching out to others, and experiencing the wholeness of emotions.

    Its amazing that you lived a life of a conpletely different spectrum, a very tough person in the first half of your life, and in the second half someone who combined the life experiences of the hippy upbringing from her parents, and then a beautiful marriage with her husband who had the quiet ambitious achiever contrasted with the rahrah and toughness of her demeanour, and then her next period of self discovery and exploration and synchronising and synthesising all of the life experiences she has undergone and transforming it into a healing experience.

    When I saw the video of you in the documentary after the period of Andy’s passing, you seemed like a completely different person, transformed from a strong minded soul who had evolved into an open vibrant spacious and receptive spirit. Almost like your past has become your present, the people who inspired you with their calmness created a newfound sense of calmness in you. You were glowing in the video with a vibrant acceptance of things, letting go of controlling the future and becoming one with the present.

    Its really eye-opening seeing how someone could be completely transformed after having lived an already crazy and full life, but its also inspirational and thought provoking to see that as humans we constantly evolve into something new, and even in death, our memories and our legacy is left behind which also is honoured and transformed. Its almost like a spiritual cycle of life where there is no distinction between this and that, here and there, you and me, him and her.

    It becomes more about us and we, and here and now.

© 2018 MaybeMcQueen | All Rights Reserved