It is fifteen years since being alone in London, a place that I love for more reasons than I have space or time to write and the city that taught and brought me love.

I stood in the busy station, looking up at the balcony, as people split off either side of me, bustling onwards on a journey of their own, where-for not even a whole moment in time, our paths had crossed and yet standing there alone, I had never felt more connected.

There is and always was something about such a huge, vibrant and diverse city that almost jolts me back into myself and out of the flat – line, that has me seen floating above my life as an observer for perhaps a little too long.

Like a gentle and curious electric shock from the friction of your nylon clad toes on the carpeted isle of an airplane, I buzzed with delight, with the enormous sense of human connection, that standing slap – bang in the middle of Liverpool Street Station so graciously  gave me.

Out of the corner of my eye I looked for him.

Whilst my feet felt firm on the ground and I stood wearing my new decade, like of cloak of clarity, that distinguished who I was before, before him, before them and before you, I still, in the familiarity of this space and place, looked for the twinkle in his eye, that turned the corners of my mouth into an uncontrollable smile and had my every thought of ever being alone, evaporate into a bubble of love.

This time however, like a cool breeze on a hot day, as it gently runs its fingers across your face, before it is gone with out a trace, I was able to revel in the moment, re – live the thought and move slowly forward, allowing him and the hundreds and thousands of inspiring busy little beings, to journey on somewhere else.

 

 

 

 

  • Penny Douglas

    <3 So glad you made it back home safe and sound dear. <3

  • Brian-Gina Holbrook

    Holy Wow…a beautifully articulated window to your soul. I had to read this over and over again and let your words fill. me. up.

  • Beth

    I am in awe of your beautiful observance of the flow of life. Nothing remains, the same way nothing is ever gone. How are you so graceful? It amazes. Blessings to you and yours.

  • Juliana Choe

    Vashti, you are one extraordinary woman!!! XO

  • Kate

    Welcome Vashti. Today is June 23, in Poland this Father’s Day. My kids at breakfast already had time to wish their dads, give a huge kiss. I read your post, as usual, moving, and so the thought immediately came to me Andy. I give him hugs and virtual. It is my role model husband, father, lover! Not a day goes by I do not think about you and about Andy. Kisses from Polish.

    ps. sorry for my english ;)

  • Naomi McMillon Duvall

    pure poetry. you literally gave me goose bumps♥

  • Sally T.

    I got such a memory shiver of ‘home’ from this beautiful piece, Vashti. It’s that little bit of knowing in the heart that you are exactly where you should be.

  • Mary

    Thank you for allowing us to get a glimpse into your beautiful soul and articulating your experience in such a beautiful way. I feel like I was experiencing that moment with you. Blessings to you Vashti and your beautiful little cubs. Through all of your strength and vulnerability you inspire so many.

  • Carolyjavi

    Dear Vashti we are seeing him, you and your cubs through your beautiful eyes and your gorgeous words…and as well how you are trying to move forward. Thanks for sharing and welcome back. Kisses from Spain

  • Teresa

    Your words in this accounting of your trip and what you experienced made my tummy physically jump Vashti, I can’t decide if I want to cry rivers of tears in sadness or in the beauty of it!! I think both brave lady!! Much love and happiness to you and the cubs from AZ❤❤❤❤