I wanna be like you….

By On · 9 Comments · In blog

It is a very strange thing to return, after so may years, to the town that you spent much of your childhood and all those oh- so painful years, spent as a slightly plump and not quite pretty enough teenager.

It is also completely exhausting, not at all dissimilar to being in some weird Si- Fi movie, or using that strange and mysterious, transportation powder from the land of Harry Potter, where you are just innocently walking along and all off a sudden your body is totally discombobulated, as you are violently hurled into a parallel universe of being 10 years old and there your are, huddled around with your friends, trying hard not to vomit over the boy you secretly fancy, who is standing right next to you, which in itself has made you want to faint with excitement, inhaling some sick- making French cigarette, that one of you has strategically stolen from your parents, with the hope that you might look cool and work your way up a level, in the ever so important, unspoken, but highly sought after popularity streams of your school.

Hilariously, I can honestly feel myself wincing as I write this piece!

If you had only known then, that vital piece of information, the school kids holy – grail, for all those young ones, struggling through the constant humiliations of daily life. If you had only known that returning after 15 years and what feels like a life time of various adventures, that the one, COOLER than COOL guy, that everyone wanted to either date, befriend or even completely embody, will actually be the one, that is propping up the same bar that you all used to frequent with your fake ID and bad curly perms and all that charisma and groupie – following popularity, that he may have once had, has now been replaced, with remarkably bad teeth, grey thinning hair and very, very empty pockets.

Whilst for one second you relish the fact that you have done or become something or someone, that feels like it amounts to so much more than ‘him’, what you are really, REALLY grateful for, as you put your ego aside and buy him a drink, is the fact that the years that you spent working so painfully hard, to leave far, far behind, have, in a split second, turned into a critical part of a journey, that has actually and wonderfully, brought you to a destination than you never thought possible.

 

 

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  • Dilyana Konstantinova

    When I was a teenager doing sports, I trained handball.I had no time for boys, parties ….From school I went to exercise.My classmates made ​​fun of it.I was different from them.But then came the University.I had time for boys and coupons.I had time for everything.So everything has its time.I am 31 ​​years old and from the distance of time I

  • Beth Forrester

     Oh yes, I can completely relate to those ‘painful’ school years! I had plenty of them. I spent 5 years in my 1st school, 3 in another, then 3 in another school, and my last year as a Senior in High School in a yet another new school was the most ‘challenging’. All in different States throughout the U.S…..I found myself thrust over and over into a new school a completely different atmosphere, with all new people. I had to again and again figure out my ‘place’ in each school. I was never one to follow or cave into peer pressure…..although I often felt the wrath from ‘mean girls’ for not doing what they did or wanted me to do. I knew I didn’t want to be in the ‘popular’ crowd as I many of them were not nice to people who weren’t like them…….football players, cheerleaders and similar activities and interests. I loved riding horses, which I learned was decidedly not a popular activity with the popular group. I also had many friend who the ‘popular’ people  wouldn’t give the time of day to, but they were the kindest of all.  So I had to make my own path and do what made me happy, although it was quite a struggle at times.

    One of my vivid memories (me winching too!) was with a very cute popular boy who lived in a big beautiful house. It was when I moved to a new High School right before starting my Senior year. I went from a school in Myrtle Beach, S. Carolina which was very similar to ‘Fast Times at Ridgemont High’ to someone closely resembling ‘Cruel Intentions’…..for those of you who have seen both movies you will know they are like night and day! To say the least, I didn’t fit in with my mostly very privileged classmates and it was obvious with my wardrobe and where I lived, as my family was not well off at all…we happen lived in that school district.  But, their was this very cute popular boy and a Sadie Hawkins dance nearing, so I mustered up all the courage I had to call his house and ask him to it……he was kind, I don’t even know if he really knew who I was, but he said he was already going with so and so,  a very popular girl. I was kind of crushed, but understood. I don’t have a ‘home’ town to or one school with all my memories, but if I saw this cute popular ‘boy’ today I would, like you, put my ego aside and buy him a drink and leave the past behind. As painful as some of my memories of school were, I’m happy the person I’ve turned into and all my accomplishments and that’s what matters most! xx

  • Irenemahon

    oh my god vashti i think we ve all been there …….i have heard so many story s about some of the people i used to go to school with would make your curly perm even curlier…….but as you say all part of the journey ….but i did resist smoking ……xxxxxx   love irene…xxxxxx

  • Smonteith

    Yip!! I Can absolutely relate to that Vashti! I still have the curly hair but no perm!

  • Sjdevooght

    Vashti The way you are able to express with the written word……is truly a gift. You are talented just like Andy. I can only imagine what your beautiful children will behold. Your grace and eloquence is inspiring. You remind me so much of Linda Lee Caldwell. She was the wife of Bruce lee. Your experiences are so similar. Ironicly, Linda and Bruce were close friends with Steve McQueen. I hope you both meet someday. Best wishes, trying to get the word out for Andy’s project.

  • Sally T.

    I’m a believer that all that happens in your life, good and bad, leads you to exactly where you need to be. Travelling back ‘home’ sounds difficult, but also like it’s a great gift you’ve just received :)

  • Lizi

    Anything happens with a reason, Vashti, coming back home could be a time of being yourself again, I wish you all the best for you and your kids. You are not alone, it takes time to readjust yourself and taste the joy of life, but it will come….. Kiss for your beautiful kids:)))

  • Madeleine

    Oh the glorious teenage years…..UGH!  I thought life was going to be like my high school years forever and I am sooooooooooo  glad I was wrong! (^0^)   It is something when you see the “popular” kids now and how they aren’t so popular anymore; but boy they sure could tease someone back then like they were the king/queen of the world and now they really wish they were.  It is never good to live in the past but it is nice to revisit once in a while to get yourself back on track and to see just how far you’ve grown and to finally put a rest to any bad memories we may have.  Keep strong Vashti, and remember Andy is by your side all the way.  Lots of hugs!!!  oh and by the way……I LOVE you photos! you are such a good photographer! it has inspired me to be more mindful of how I am setting up my shots.  You are very talented!!!  

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/VXT7C6LEOMBC6BL6B6PGEOMTQY tee

    I remember when I joined Facebook, I was a bit late to the social networking game, the first thing I did was look up my fellow high school classmates.
    It’s awful, SO awful, that I actually relished for a brief moment at how some of the “cool kids” turned out. Yeah…the boys where balding or chunky or both. The girls…bad eyebrows, even worse relationships, still holding onto the ratted bangs or bright blue eyeshadow. It all made me feel so much better about myself. Well, until I realized that these people could be looking at my profile and thinking much of the same about me. At one time, those “cool kids” where the measuring stick of what I thought I should be, how I should act or who I should try to become.  I spent so much of my teens and twenties trying to be everything to everybody, doing everything to be slick and cool, that it’s embarassing.  I think with age comes amazing clarity. I am no longer are defined by what I have or don’t have. The only person left to impress is myself. It’s libertating to let go and just be who you are.