Take what you need and nothing else…

By On · 25 Comments · In blog

 

There are so many fantastic things I could write about today, like the birth of a gorgeous little girl, nearly born in an Ikea car park, due to the hilarious mindset of denial that my dear friend, her mummy, maintained through out the whole pregnancy. I could also tell you about the fun I had filming new material for MMQ, paralleled with the enormous absence of the gorgeous man that should have been giggling at his silly wife from behind the camera.

I could also write about the seesaw of emotions I have been experiencing on a daily basis, as a lunatic Gemini and as a single mummy, where I wish myself a million miles away, on a busy street in New York, being knocked by random strangers that are in a hurry to get somewhere else fast, where I am alone and calm in nothing but the buzz of organized chaos.

I could also whinge on about the giant burn on my leg gained by my own negligence in wearing running pants on a motorbike, with a mighty hot exhaust pipe, which now has me wincing every time I move after having been still just long enough for a dry layer of skin to form, which then cracks open as I shift positions, which is then strangely followed by a smile of a sting that reminds that I am so grateful to be ALIVE…

So after beginning countless posts, here is what I really want to write about today… however you are feeling or where ever you are at, anything and I mean anything is possible, depending with what and who you surround yourself with and the structures you create to make your life work….. crazy, bonkers and extraordinary things are there for the making and taking.

In 3 days it will be December the 1st which will be my 11th Wedding anniversary, the start of my 14th year in Australia, the 1st official day of our summer and the final month of what feels like the most peculiar year of my life so far and for those 4 reasons all I want to do is look forward to what is possible as an incredible New Year cheekily winks at us.

Now is the perfect time for some action and a little reflection before we all begin knee jerking into the New Year, spitting out the same out patterns and ending up right back where we started, or worse still having achieved everything we set out to and still feeling disappointed. It is time to get some clarity on what will be in our bag of tricks for 2013 and what we will gamefully leave behind as we astonish ourselves with what we are capable of.

So who is game? For the month of December I will be posting ‘ Reflect, Refine and Ready, Steady Go!!!’ exercises, to support us all crafting New Years resolutions with some bark and bite.

1. Look back over your calendar of 2012 and remind yourself of what took place when and where. Remind your self of all that you have achieved emotionally, professionally, physically and spiritually.

2. List what you acknowledge about your achievements and why, because if you can’t and won’t acknowledge your own growth, then how can you harvest it further?

3. List the areas/issues/parts of you life that did not grow, bloom or blossom and then acknowledge clearly and honestly what it was that got in the way for you, what stopped you and how you may have stopped yourself?

As always, please share the love and be sure to be mindful of the content you post…… Reflection time…

Vashti …

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  • Rivke

    This is a task I very much need to do to help get me on track for next year. Thanks yet again for making me think about my life and where I have been and where I am going.

  • Rspiroff

    Large task ahead, looks like a little honesty about self, will be in order.  Oh boy, this will be a grueling, but good start to reflection/introspection!!!! 

  • Susan_Mangan

    What a great post to wake up to!  Thanks Vashti.  I’m defo game!! Will start working on this today and get back to you.

    Hope your leg feels better soon missus- you poor thing – ouch!  xx

     

    • Susan_Mangan

       Looking back, this last year was a really good one for me.  With the previous year being focused on recovering from illness this one has been mainly about health & fitness.  So here’s my list of achievements/acknowledgements for 2012:

      1.  Flew out to New Zealand on the one year anniversary of my surgery with the highlight being the day I spent doing the Tongariro Alpine Crossing /went from not being able to walk to climbing mountains – awesome!

      2.  4th April – last check-up and final discharge from the hospital / wuhoo! officially healed!

      3.  Up fitness regime and work my ass off 5 days a week / Finally get rid of the last of the steroid weight and start to feel like me again.

      4.  22nd June – discover MMQ and send my first email to Vashti /  At the risk of sounding cheesy and arse-licky I have got to acknowledge  the HUGE influence you have had on my life, my attitude and the bringing about of my newfound happiness.  THANK YOU!!!! xx

      5.  7th September – my birthday tattoo – my beautiful phoenix rising from the ashes / representing renewal, second chances, possibilities, life!!

      Area of my life that did not grow:

      Relationships – uuggh! there’s always a downer!!
      Okay, so there was the promise of a new relationship but as is usual in my life it ended in tears.  But I do acknowledge that my deep rooted fear of being hurt has most likely led to some self-sabotage with a dash of self-fulfilling prophecy thrown in.  However this time I didn’t allow myself to wallow but instead found a lovely quote from Dr. Seuss that helped me through:

      “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened”

      So that’s me.  Looking forward to hearing everyone else’s.  Have a great weekend everyone!

      • Sally T.

        Congrats on your #1…fantastic to hear of your literal and figurative mountain climb!

        • Susan_Mangan

           Cheers Sally!!

  • Sylke

    A difficult task to do but so needed to see that little path through the bush that will get me back on track everytime I get lost throughout the rush of 2013…Thanks for reminding me!

  • Joanna

    Great post, very inspiring. You show how
    to lead conscious, beautiful life. I’m so grateful for this. I bless that day
    when I found MMQ, despite horrible info pollution in the Internet.

    Thank you! With love, Joanna

  • Tinks

    I always think that I achieve nothing.. just drift along.. but reading your list has made me think about 2012… and made me realise I have stretched myself and achieved a few minor victorys.  Taken on tasks that I wasn’t sure I could do.. I feel a bit better about myself now, thank you Vashti for posting your list, you have this wonderful ability to make people stop and think outside the box.   Hope your legs heals soon.. from one (pillion) biker to another… stay safe and keep riding. xo

  • Anna

    Great & an inspiring post, Vashti! It’s the time of the year where we should encourage ourselves to reflect, appreciate, learn and move on. Thinking of how we may have stopped ourselves is hard and can put us down but I strongly believe it’s the only way to grow and learn from our mistakes we all make and always will be making – it’s just a part of the game called: life. Reflection time is like Recovery, Renewal so we can enter the new year being stronger, smarter and happier. Let’s do that!! 

  • sunshine

     There are many insecurities I have let hinder me for a very long time and thought  that once 2012 came around it would be time to change that. I was determined that I would learn to live a more patient and optimistic life. I would grow and learn to find my strengths and let go of my insecurities for the good of myself, my marriage and just for the wellness of my life and let that guide me as a person in this world. I have not succeeded at most of that this year, but I believe that my outlook is starting to change. Since finding this gem of a blog you have really opened my eyes to look at myself and the world in a slightly different light and feel very optimistic for the new year and onward. You are inspiring, motivational and just damn straight realistic and you really know how to put things & life into perspective. I can’t even imagine what you must have went through in the past couple of years but to see how you have dealt with it and where you are now is truly amazing to see. You seem to be such a wonderful person, eager, determined and learning everyday as you go along and most importantly sharing your words and wisdom with all of us to help teach and guide us to become the people we are meant to be. You and this blog are refreshing and I’m so glad you do what you do. We need more of you in this world!

     ” What is a teacher? I’ll tell you: it isn’t someone who teaches
    something, but someone who inspires the student to give of her best in
    order to discover what she already knows” – Paulo Coehlo

    • Joanna

      I totally agree. I love Vashti and her
      writing – full of passion and meaning. She’s amazing, wonderful woman,
      extraordinary strong, full of love and life energy.

       

      Vashti, plizzzzzz write a book about you
      and Andy! Plizzz… I’ll buy at least 10 copies – for my best friends as a
      gift.

      Thanks once again! Joanna

  • Sarah Hazel

    I love reading your blog, as it inspires me to stop and enjoy what’s around me, and change paths that may not be leading where I want them to. I just wanted to say a big THANK YOU for having such a wonderful, open and honest blog xx

  • Alex W

    My new years resolution is to have no new year’s resolutions.  Keep the posts coming i was missing them ! My wife is also a gemini. Perhaps loveable lunacy is a gemini trait.

  • Susana Matos Nunes

    you definatly let me thinking…. this is a very emotional year… about finding myself, dealing with some realities that have no doubt that had changed me… and maybe the next year could be a year with many changes too…
    well, wow! I must read your post with some time, and I will definatly reflect, write and post back for you. For you can have one more little part of me…
    A big kiss for the three of you XXX
    Steel Here
    Susana

  • Elena Ferro

    Let’s think: Mmmmmm…. Mmmmmm…. Aggggggghhhh!!!! Can’t thinking about myself, only about children, home, work, meals, homeworks, etc, etc, etc… so what I HAVE to do next year is to learn thinking about ME, or… like a good friend of mine said to me some days ago when I told him that I didn’t live lately, only survived (overwhelmed with the house, kids, work, etc, etc). He said I should stop and think about everything, read a book called “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle, and so maybe I could live instead of surviving … That really made me think … How can I enjoy with each moment, each second of my life??? That’s a good thing to do next year…YEAAHHH!!!

  • Sally T.

    I’ve read your call to reflection about 10 times today, Vashti. This is a really great challenge in the way that it encourages us all to dig deeply and peel back the layers we may have used to cocoon/shelter/preserve/protect ourselves. Some layers may be physically inhibiting (weight gain) and some emotionally (shutting down when things are difficult) so. I think I’ll journal this first on my own. 

    But the last time I read this post, about 30 minutes ago, one thing really struck me: because I have an ill parent and a kid on the autism spectrum, a lot of what I deem to be achievements in MY life are tied directly to successes in my family members’ lives. Am I preventing myself from growth because I am gauging success through their milestones? Or am I being authentic in that I’m doing what I really want and love to do with tangible results worth celebrating?

    Fantastic post…thanks!

  • Simona

    Vashti carissima,
    spulciando gli eventi importanti del 2012 mi accorgo che non riguardano me stessa ….
    Però è con grande soddisfazione e pelle d’oca che mi annoto questo negli annali della mia storia…
    Mio figlio (quello speciale) è riuscito a ben cinque anni e mezzo a parlare e questo credimi ha cambiato la vita e il modo di pensare a tutti quelli che lo conoscono.
    E’ solo il primo passo su una rampa di lancio difficoltosa però sono ottimista e penso che il dolore non viene solo per nuocere.
    Anche tu mi hai insegnato che oltre a questo fardello c’è ancora una vita che vale la pena di essere vissuta. Sempre e comunque.
    Certo il mio umore cambia ogni giorno e sono in balia delle onde, ma uno spiraglio di sole ogni tanto c’è.
    Con stima.
    Simona

  • Liana

    Love your blogs, Vashti. They sure shoot arrows straight into the Basic Stuff of Life..Made me ponder  how many years it has been since  I have really looked at life as LIFE , something glorious to enjoy, instead of something to somehow simply survive …(Which sounds very depressing, doesn’t it?)I seem to have forgotten to even ask myself what I would like to ”Have” or “Do” or “Be” now and yet, instead, just feel  somehow tremendously grateful and very happy inside . .  (As a Libra,however, I confess that the one thing that I’ve missed all my life was a real Partner/Friend/Lover .Someone with whom to be able to have a true relationship, a truly “shared” life…but I guess it’s too late now for one to finally show up !) What I DO have is 5 wonderful children , 10 grandchildren and 3 great-grandchildren which accounts for the Gratitude and happiness I mentioned above. I honestly can’t think of anything for “me”, “myself” , that enthuses me very much for next year except to keep focused on growing and expanding my Inner Self every day.
    Please keep blogging, Vashti!

  • Camelia Miron Skiba

    I only had one resolution for 2012: NOT say “I don’t have time.” It took me until June to be aware of the first impulse of saying it. Afterward it got easier. I struggled with it because there were so many things I wanted to accomplish, but good God only made 24 hours in a day and no bargaining would convince him to add another hour or so. 

    At one point I realized that it’s only up to me to MAKE the time for the walk in the park, the chat with my sister, finishing another book, designing another cover… it helped me FIND the time to do all those things. 
    Now I turned into one of those people that actually HAS time. I sometimes get weird looks from others when I say, “Sure I have time to blah-blah-blah.”
    Not sure if I’ll pick a resolution for 2013… But hey, I have time!

  • Serenina F89

    Happy Anniversary sweetheart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I want to tell u somethinG: December for me is special, ‘ cause it is my birthday month, it is December month and winter month!
    When i was little i loved this month more and more, but after my dad had an heartattack last year, the day of my birthday ( 20th December )  i started to hate this month more and more.
    But i don’t  like to hate the month of presents, of Santa Claus and of joy, my dad is fine so why don’t start to love it again?

    Happy 1st of December Vashti

    Serena 

  • Sally T.

    Sorry for not posting sooner, Vashti. I did this last week but I’ve just re-read your post and clearly should have ‘shared the love!’ 
    1. emotionally:  I’ve learned to embrace a connection to my adopted ‘home’ and stopped wishing I lived somewhere other than where I do. Recognizing travel as a key element  to my emotional well-being was amazing information: I travelled to multiple countries in Europe this past year and visited friends and family in Canada & the US, with and without my kids. I also identified that being too ‘busy’ caused me to feel ungrounded and panicked. So I culled my social calendar over the year until my schedule was manageable. 
    professionally: My autistic son graduated from high school and has begun his post-secondary journey so my advocacy role swelled and then changed from school support to transitional coach. I completed my final year on the SSYO (youth orchestra board) here and made several changes while in that position which will contribute to the ongoing success of that organization. And I completed my 3-year stint with my kung fu school as a Jah Gao/teacher, setting up and running a Shaolin todders’ program for my Sifu. 
    physically: The first of 2 surgeries on my hands was completed to fix my ongoing issues with carpal tunnel syndrome. And I’ve taken to the treadmill temporarily to replace my kung fu training. I’m returning to horseback riding lessons in the new year, a passion I’ve had since I was a young girl. 
    spiritually: taking some of the ‘busy’ out of my life has left time for me to be quiet with myself several times a week (meditation or qi kung). I have been practicing Pochinko clown breathing exercises which inform my day and keep me living in the present. Breath is everything: I practice what I preach.

    2. I acknowledge my role in my son’s mastery of life’s milestones: I know I play a huge part in my role as his ‘translator’ both socially and academically but have maintained my position so as not to be his crutch. Also, after 18 years of whining about living away from friends and family, I’ve learned to be the master of my own contentment. I not only hold, but AM the key to my own happiness. It’s been incredibly empowering to realize that choice is omnipresent.

    3. I’ve used my recent surgery to withdraw myself from martial arts after 10 years of devout training. I think the fear of re-injury has kept me from returning to training initially, but if I’m being honest, I think I need a change. And if I’m being really honest, I have no clue what I want to do. More work is needed, that’s for sure. I do know I’m finding my relationship with my treadmill deeply unsatisfying ;)

  • Madeleine

    I know this is late but I honestly had to think about what I have achieved this year…..then I had to determine if they were my own achievements  or things I have been trying to accomplish only to meet the standards of what society deems as achievements. Well I have come to the conclusion I am a semi introverted thinker who loves to quietly take in all the little wonders this magnificent universe offers me everyday. I have learned this year that your job does not make who you are as a person, and everything you “own” is nothing but a bunch of #$%# you are leasing for the little moment you are here on this earth.  So this year I am proud to say I have grown spiritually, and will continue to nurture my soul so that I can inspire and teach people how to do the same.

    I would love to be a coach some day like wonderful sister V….but I really need to stop my negative thinking of it taking to long to achieve, the money its going to cost me to go back to Uni (especially since I just got myself back to work after frantically looking for employment for months), and the precious little time I have to make this goal happen. I also need to stop letting TIME get in the way of things and just learn to focus on the present.

  • Susana Matos Nunes

    Here I Am as promise… I may not be perfect but I’m a girl of honor!
    I will do this one at the time…
    1. For 2012 I had wished to look more inside me and my indoor family, ’cause unfortunatly last years we lived others lives (Joana’s and my mother in law cancer). It was like puting our lives into “pause”. We tried, and I can precise when, but because we realised we could loose someone fast we keep living, somehow, very much with them, for them; I mean, we spend few time just the three of us.
    Professionaly equal as usually.
    Physically didn’t had marc, but started one day and: had already loosed 5kg (then you translate that, if you don’t mind. Thank you.)
    Emotionally and spiritually I feel I gave a big jump, in part for me, other because of you and with your help, other part because of Andy, somehow… I just know, without noticie when, I’m not the same person, sometimes feeling much grow and a step ahed, others felling maybe others are ahed and I’m just crazy! Lol thank you Vasthi for all and a special THANK YOU for a special guy!

    2. In my job I learned how to express myself without noise but being heard.
    In my life I learned that there are things that really matter and others just stoped to care about (peddling); now only matters to me are my family, trying to make them happy, doing nice things for people because it make feel good, and always feeling myself happy with all I do. Stoped make others happy even when that makes me sad!
    Now I look more inside me and I’m happier!

    3. As I said on the first point… My “indoor” family didn’t grow as I wish, because:
    - I’m not pregnant… Yet I hope!
    - still sharing our three lives to much with all family every week, in my opinion, and only mine ’cause Paulo (my husband) didn’t feel that way. To me that stop us to grow more, at least alone, without depending on them.
    - financially because of all austerity we living. That’s why I want to move other country, but he don’t because it means we must leave family behind…

    I’m patiente… Lets whait what the new year bring to us…

    With a very big kiss, a very big and tigth hug, and very big THANK YOU, let you with all my Love,
    as always and still here ;0) as always too!!
    Susana

    P.S – Please give a kiss to the littles for me with many love too!
    And there are 23:22 in Portugal, so, still today for me! Lol

  • Bluebird

    An hour and a half left in 2012 in the US …..I’m sitting here trying to figure out what resolutions and changes I need to make to be personally successful and happier in 2013……finding this post is like a  belated Christmas present to me – thank you for posting and sharing!